After a weekend in Tulum that involved zero shoes, three soul connections, and one violent purge into a woven basket, @thelightwithinlauren returned home a new woman — and promptly blocked six of her oldest friends.
“Not everyone is meant to rise with you,” she posted to her story, next to a grainy video of herself dancing barefoot in the jungle, eyes closed, haloed by an accidental lens flare.
“This isn’t about cutting people off. It’s about realigning with who I am becoming.”
— Lauren, minutes before launching her downloadable guide: “Ascend & Unfollow: A Sacred Journey of Boundaries”
Now offering 1:1 coaching for anyone looking to level up by letting go, Lauren promises results in 30 days or one complimentary aura cleanse.
🌕 Key Flex Metrics:
- 🍵 Retreat cost: $4,200 (not including ceremonial vomit bucket rental)
- 📉 Friend count: down 40%
- 🌀 Emotional resilience: still buffering
- 💸 ROI: Three new followers and a collab with a gemstone-infused kombucha brand
As always, we wish her well on her journey. But mostly we’re just glad we weren’t one of the unfollowed.