Once upon a time, we went to church on Sundays and sinned the rest of the week in peace. Now? We’re witnessing the rise of the Christian Influencer™ — a hybrid species of fashion blogger, prosperity preacher, and algorithmically sanctified life coach.
They pray with one hand and post with the other. Their aesthetic: reclaimed wood crosses, soft beige tones, and a cappuccino next to a Bible that’s never been read past Leviticus.
“Woke up feeling so grateful for God’s timing 🙏 Swipe up to shop this robe I’m being baptized in 💦”
Faith is the vibe. Engagement is the mission. And if you’re not monetizing your morality, are you even saved?
Signs You’re Following a Saviorfluencer™
- Posts a daily devotional reel with acoustic guitar and slow-motion sunrise
- Quotes Jeremiah 29:11 next to a sponsored collagen ad
- Host of a “Grace & Hustle” podcast no one asked for
- Wears a purity ring and a crop top — both branded
- Recently launched a “Christ-centered productivity journal” for $47.99
We’re not here to mock belief. We’re here to ask why that belief always comes with a coupon code and a perfectly lit selfie.
If you’ve been blessed, broken, and rebranded, we’re watching. And if your baptism was live-streamed in 4K — you might already be one of them.