Jul 29, 2025 | Sponsored by Regret
There comes a time in every influencer’s career when things go sideways — a problematic tweet resurfaces, a brand partnership backfires, or someone finally calls out the $399 “Self Worth Bootcamp” for what it is: a PDF and a prayer. This is the cleanup zone. Where...
Jul 29, 2025 | Influencer Emergencies
Sometimes, bad things happen to good influencers. Like low views. Or an Airbnb that wasn’t the vibe. But when the ring light is already on and the tears are photogenic, there’s no sense in wasting a good breakdown. Welcome to the influencer emergency. Where trauma is...
Jul 29, 2025 | Hollow Health
If you’ve ever been told your body is “toxic” by someone selling a mushroom powder, you’ve met the Hollow Health influencer. She’s not a doctor, but she does have an ebook called “Gut Reset for Radiant Abundance.” Her vibe: oversized water bottle, perfect skin, deeply...
Jul 29, 2025 | Brands Behaving Badly
When a brand “takes a stand,” it’s rarely on purpose — and almost never without a slide deck. Welcome to the world of performative corporate wokeness, where vague statements are crafted by PR interns and released just late enough to avoid any actual consequences....
Jul 29, 2025 | Crypto & Clout
Welcome to the grindset gospel, where waking up at 4 a.m. to journal about passive income is considered self-care. This is where Crypto meets Clout — a lawless zone of DM pitch decks, borrowed Lambos, and investment advice from guys who haven’t paid taxes since high...
Jul 29, 2025 | Fauxthenticity, Jesus Is My Influencer
Once upon a time, we went to church on Sundays and sinned the rest of the week in peace. Now? We’re witnessing the rise of the Christian Influencer™ — a hybrid species of fashion blogger, prosperity preacher, and algorithmically sanctified life coach. They pray with...
Jul 29, 2025 | Blessed & Brainless, Fauxthenticity
Ever scroll through a post and feel like you’re reading a foreign language that somehow smells like essential oils and narcissism? You’re not alone. This glossary exists to help you navigate the curated chaos of influencer-speak — one buzzword at a time. Whether...
Jul 25, 2025 | Fauxthenticity, Flex of the Week
Somewhere between the fourth crying selfie and the fifth discount code, she found healing. This week’s flex comes courtesy of @soulglow_liv, who bravely opened up to her 480k followers about her deep inner work in a sponsored post for Ardor Flame, a boutique candle...
Jul 18, 2025 | Fauxthenticity, Flex of the Week, Hollow Health
This week’s flex comes from @crystalcalmdani, who gave a tearful room tour of her new 8-bedroom “manifestation portal” just six months after launching her $4,444 “Energetic Alignment Accelerator” group coaching program. “This isn’t just a house. It’s a vibration. A...
Jul 11, 2025 | Flex of the Week, Hollow Health, Sponsored by Regret
After attending one weekend retreat in Sedona, @rooted.rachael returned with a new aura, new vocabulary, and a firm belief that her friends were “not aligned with her frequency.” “I realized they were mirrors… and I no longer wanted to see myself in anyone who wasn’t...