This week’s flex comes from @crystalcalmdani, who gave a tearful room tour of her new 8-bedroom “manifestation portal” just six months after launching her $4,444 “Energetic Alignment Accelerator” group coaching program.
“This isn’t just a house. It’s a vibration. A frequency match. And honestly, a tax write-off.”
Sources say Dani’s program includes three group Zooms, one surprise invoice, and a downloadable PDF titled *How to Unblock Your Abundance by Charging More Than Therapists.*
The mansion’s signature features include imported quartz countertops, five-ring light charging stations, and a “self-worth room” full of mirrors and unread books.
🔥 Key Flex Metrics:
- 💸 Total investment: $0.00 (for her)
- 🧘♀️ Healing claims: 7
- 📜 NDAs signed: 3 (allegedly)
- 📦 Number of clients asking for refunds: unknown
We salute Dani’s commitment to vibrational wealth and emotionally manipulative marketing funnels.